Wednesday, January 24, 2007

2 is company. 3 is.....

A nuisance?

A friend relates this incident. She has a 3 ½ year old who co-sleeps with them. One night after she put her daughter to sleep – she and her hubby got into the mood. While they were in the … errr… act, their daughter awoke and demanded to know what was going on. What they told their daughter can be gauged from the fact that thereafter, whenever the child saw her mother undressing or changing, she wanted to know, “mummy, kya aap papa ko pyaar karne wale ho?” (mummy are you going to love papa?).

When this incident was narrated to me, I was pregnant with sonny. So I had a big laugh at it. Now that sonny is 19 months old – my reaction is a bit different. O sure it’s funny alright. But now the issue really hits home. We too have a co-sleeper, a light sleeper at that. So now we truly comprehend how big an issue it is.

Of course the solution is – to get sonny onto his lil bed and get him to sleep by himself in his room. But then, that’s easier said than done. And considering the fact that, hubby’s job seems to give us a US-darshan, we keep moving places, so getting sonny settled into a new place is in itself a task.

Don’t get me wrong. I mean, I do love the fact that here we are – the entire family, snuggling in together under one blanket. And it’s easy to pacify sonny – who’s night terrors and nightmares have reached an all time high. Besides, I love the way he snuggles into me and sleeps.

But then, what do I tell well-meaning friends, who ask me – if I have started planning for a second baby already. I’d really like to tell them – that I can plan all I want – it’s the implementation that seems to be an issue.

And then, I take hope from orchid’s recent post about how her 3 ½ year old – now sleeps by himself. Hmmmm……

14 Comments:

At 6:20 AM, Blogger artnavy said...

see here for my version:

http://abouttimenow.blogspot.com/2006/09/third-person-in-my-bed.html

 
At 6:21 AM, Blogger artnavy said...

oops i realise u have read and even commented on it

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger Sanjay said...

Hmm not a easy choice to make right? And then there are growing pains for the little one and the two of you as well.

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger Orchid said...

:) Do it anyway. No, I don't mean "the act" I mean move your son to his room ...because it's not going to happen overnight but you'll be surprised to learn that your son is more ready than you. I took A's help in getting his room ready for him, involved him int he process,move all his stuff there..books, clothes, toys etc and spend time with him in that room and let him play there doing the day....get him used to idea essentially. Believe me there is hope and eventually you will eb able to ...procreate,t hat is ;)

 
At 11:38 AM, Blogger @ said...

it’s the implementation that seems to be an issue
LOL!!! I loved how you put this :)
Yea, I know what you mean...I could be a co-sleeping activist if I could! :) But the bed is getting slightly too small for us.
Have you thought about his own bed sidecarred to yours? That could be step one and slowly the bed can move to his own room?

 
At 2:03 PM, Blogger Fuzzylogic said...

I feel for you.We did the co sleeping thing till recently and then I saw my friend struggling with the same issue of not being able to get her kid sleep in his bed and she advised me to move her now or it would be too hard later on.It was hard for me to move her to her crib but she took it well much to my surprise.Now she naps and sleeps in her crib and we get to enjoy a good night of sleep and not to mention some quality time too:)
It's difficult but it can be done.Orchid I think has given the exact way to go about it.I didn't really have much trouble with that though she cried for 2 nights before finally taking in and sleeping and that broke my heart.It's tough than what they say and I guess it's more tough for moms than the kids at times!Goodluck!

 
At 2:34 PM, Anonymous NZ said...

hehehe....a small advise from an experienced mom - this is the right time and he will get used to it pretty quickly.
I have never allowed the kids to co-sleep simply for the reason that I was too scared that I might suffocate them by accidentally putting my arm on their nose in my sleep. But they did sleep in the same room in their own cots and at about 18 months I shifted them to their own room. They would come early in the morning for a snuggle.

So, try it and ur sonny will get a good night sleep as well as you two...ahem ;-)

 
At 12:55 AM, Blogger Something to Say said...

art: yeah - I've read your version too - looks like we'rea ll sailing in the same boat.

Sanjay: O lots of pains :)

orchid: This means I will have to start right away - on the room bit I mean - not the procreation ;)

@: bed is small for us too - and the lil lord rolls all over it - like its his personal fiefdom. Hmm.. sidecarred bed - not a bad idea .....

fuzzy: man, i am so waiting for him to get to his own bed - i am going to be crying too - tears of joy!!

nz: gotta get started on this right away!

 
At 8:30 AM, Anonymous Coffee said...

AWE!!!! I have been missing a lot of posts..... got a lot of catching up to do because of my absence from blogosphere I guess :)

Can only sympathise with you on this since no experience about all this :)

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger The Mad Momma said...

:o) yeah.. we have a light sleeper too though he doesnt share our bed...

which reminds me of a family friend whose 4 year old son was found in daycare with his pants pulled down and on top of another kid... when the teachers asked him what he was upto, he said, papa karte hain...

 
At 4:08 AM, Blogger Gauri said...

"its the implementation that is the issue"

Loved the way you wrote that one :-)

You could try a separate little bed in your bedroom and try and get sonny to sleep in "his" bed - his territory sort of and then slowly work on transitioning him to a room of his own.

Good Luck !!

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger Shreemoyee said...

I can only imagine the shock the kid felt as the weird bedroom scene.

 
At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Twisted DNA said...

Like many Indian parents we did the same mistake of not putting the kid in his own room. We are trying to do it now and it's not easy.

That is a horror story though! I hope that kid not emotionally scarred for life! Luckily that is not a problem for us because we find the bedroom very un-spontaneous anyway.

Bravo for touching on a subject that most people consider taboo

 
At 4:35 AM, Blogger That Armchair Philosopher said...

Its interesting to see the number of parents - young or otherwise, who comment here. I'm guessing this is the generation which grew up with the internet, and well, I just find it uniquely fascinating. Some twelve years ago, this was the domain of hardcore hackers :)

As for your post - hahaha, you know, thats probably a question I actually thought about at some point. Just a random exercise of the brain at the time, I guess - I'm no parent - but here's the thing.

Whats with sex being taboo and all that, and more so in Indian culture? I can't think of any reasons why kids can't be told the truth. They're not stupid. Its not like they can't deal with it. So all of you who've got kids et al - why do you think that talking about this is considered improper? I mean, would it be that hard? Might it not be better to just talk about it as normally as possible, rather than go all secretive about it, and pique the kids interest even more?

Of course, I don't talk about porn or gratuitous scenes in movies et al - I mean, knowledge is one thing, and constant reinforcement is another.. but hmm?

 

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