Question Time

I was at a social gathering the other day when I was introduced to someone. “Where do you live?” she asked me. After I gave her the general area, her next question was “So how much rent do you pay?” After I finished spluttering over the samosa, I was wolfing down; I diverted the topic to how spicy the samosas were. After a few minutes of general chit-chat she remembered her original question “You didn’t tell me – how much rent you pay?” Its not as if I didn’t remember her question, its just that I found it way too inquisitive. I mean after all we had just met – you don’t know me from Adams and yet how much rent we pay is of such paramount importance.

At this time – hubby materialized from somewhere – and told her “well all put together our monthly outgoings works out to $ X” Not to be left unanswered she insisted, “and how much of that would be your rent?”

How does one avoid such a pointed question?

And then I thought – is it me? Am I too stuck up? I mean all she wants to know is the rent. But when she sees how I am avoiding telling her – she ought to give up, right?

Its not just rent – I have been queried on many such topics which are best left for intimate chats between friends – defi not casual conversations between people who have just met. Hubby shrugs it off with her “maybe she just wants to know the rent rates in our area” or “maybe she just wants to be friendly”. O sure – what better way to strike up friendship than to make me thoroughly uncomfortable?

Why just a few days ago – someone asked me “How much tax do you guys pay in a year?” Err exactly who are you – the IRS?

My friend C tells me of a time when they had just met someone who asked her hubby “so how big is your sales target?” knowing well that hubby’s pay is linked to sales target figures. She didn’t know how to answer that one either. Neither did I know what to tell random uncle S (who I meet once in 6 months) who asked me “so what’s your salary?”

How does one explain to people that some things are best kept out of public domain. That some questions can make the interviewee (after all thats what it is) rather uncomfortable. One question that I just didn't know how to handle, was when people heard I was getting married, they'd ask "so much does he earn?"

How does one handle people like that?

Or the other sort - who will tell you exactly how much they earn, save, pay. The look in their eye tells you - they are waiting for you to cough up your figures. its almost like they have set up some sort of barter exchange of information. Your reluctance to share only fuels their desire to know.

And then I wonder, if I am the one who is putting importance upon money issues - for the questioners this information is open for public discussion and isint of much personal importance. I mean, there are sites up on the net where people tell you of the deals they have struck, of their own accord.

So I am unable to resolve this one - should I just grit my teeth and tell the next questioner exactly how much rent we pay or should I just smile and ask "why? why do you want to know?"