Boys will be boys!

I often wonder if we ought to raise boys and girls in the same way. In the old times, girls were raised with gentleness, delicacy and softness. And boys? They were let loose to play with frogs and spiders and all types of creepy crawlies. Girls who displayed a love for ‘disgusting creatures’ were tamed – to behave in a more feminine fashion.

I wonder if there was any merit in that?

And before, feminists out there can shove their pitchforks into me – let me explain.

I was raised in a rather conservative family – where girls were expected to behave in a certain way. All through school and college – I lived under the belief that – children were like wet clay – you basically had to mold them – to get them to behave in the manner you saw fit. So girls were ‘molded’ to become soft and gentle and feminine. While boys were ‘molded’ to be masculine and aggressive.

That is until I had a son.

From his birth until now – I have been his primary care-giver. So he eats, sleeps, plays with me. And so far – no complaints. He enjoyed being with me. We read books together, we tried to colour together. I even got him Play-doh, to get him I touch with his creative side. And to get him in touch with his feminine side – we played ‘Ring around the roses’ – much to hubby’s consternation and wild protests. I would call for hugs – and there he was beaming and running towards me – to give me ‘big huggie’. Of late – we’ve even progressed to wet licks – which pass off as kisses.

But I have been noticing for the past few weeks – my son has changed. He isn’t the ‘mamma’s boy’ that he used to be. He now waits to play with his father. And what do they play? Racing cars, wrestling – where hubby basically pins him to the ground and tickles him mad, jumping from the couch, climbing on the table and all such ‘manly things’. And while they are playing – he ignores calls for ‘big huggie’ :(

The other day I raced from the kitchen upon hearing sonny’s screams. Turned out hubby was twirling him around, throwing him in the air, like a lil doll my sonny was being buffeted around. “Stop it”, I screamed, “you’ll break my baby”. “Just look at his face” hubby said, and sure enough, sonny was screaming, but asking for more. Completely chastened, I slunk away.

So I have been wondering – are boys just wired differently? I mean do they have a basic, intrinsic need to be aggressive and wild? That no matter – how much you try to give them a balanced upbringing they will end up ‘being boys’. That they will prefer the boll over the stuffed toy?

So then I wonder – were our forefathers right in raising boys and girls differently?